雅思搞笑故事 19：图标注做太多，我体检时差点给医生画张解剖图
连续做了二十篇 diagram label completion，我的手开始痒。
今天去体检。医生拿听诊器按在我胸口："这里疼不疼？"
我条件反射地说："Heart."
医生抬头看了我一眼。"我问你疼不疼，没让你报器官名称。"
"不疼。"我说。但脑子里已经开始标号了：A. Heart. B. Lung. C. Rib.
医生按了按我的肚子："这里呢？"
"Stomach."我脱口而出。
医生放下听诊器，严肃地看着我："你是来体检的，还是来参加考试的？"
我指了指自己的左下腹："那这里应该是 intestine，对吗？"
医生愣了三秒。"你怎么知道是左下腹？"
"因为你刚按的位置在脐下三指偏左，"我说，"对应 diagram 上的 C 标注点。"
医生退后一步，从抽屉里拿出一张人体解剖图，指了指图上一个空白处："那你告诉我，这里是什么？"
我凑近一看。这是 diagram label completion 的标准套路——图上有五个标号，其中一个空着，原文里有对应的描述。
我深吸一口气，开始在脑子里定位。题干关键词："small pouch""attached to intestine""no known function"。
"Appendix，"我说，"阑尾。"
医生的表情变了。他把解剖图翻过来，背面还有一张空白的。"那这个呢？"
我看了看图，又看了看自己的肚子。"这是……bladder？膀胱？不对，位置偏高了。应该是 kidney？也不对。"
我开始慌了。图标最怕的就是定位错——原文说"on the right side"，我偏往左找。
医生说："这是胃。"
我摇头："不可能。胃在左边，原文明确写的——"
"你是医生还是我是医生？"
我闭嘴了。但手还在空气里比划：A在这儿，B在这儿，C应该在……
医生叹了口气，在病历上写了一行字。我凑过去看。
他写的是："患者体检过程中持续试图标注本人解剖结构，建议转诊。"
我指着那行字说："这个应该标成 E。"
——雅思图标注最大的副作用：你走在街上，看到什么都想拿支笔往上标个 A B C D。
English Version
After twenty passages of diagram-label completion, my hands started to itch.
Today I went for a physical. The doctor pressed his stethoscope to my chest. "Does it hurt here?"
I blurted out, "Heart."
The doctor looked up. "I asked if it hurts. I didn't ask you to name the organ."
"No pain," I said. But in my head I was already numbering: A. Heart. B. Lung. C. Rib.
The doctor pressed on my abdomen. "How about here?"
"Stomach," I blurted.
He set down the stethoscope and looked at me seriously. "Are you here for a check-up, or to sit an exam?"
I pointed to my own lower-left abdomen. "That should be the intestine, right?"
The doctor froze for three seconds. "How do you know it's the lower-left?"
"Because you pressed three fingers below the navel, slightly to the left," I said. "That corresponds to label C on the diagram."
The doctor stepped back, pulled an anatomical chart from his drawer, and pointed to a blank spot. "Then tell me what this is."
I leaned in. This was the standard diagram-label routine — five labels on a diagram, one blank, and the text has the matching description.
I took a deep breath and started locating in my head. Keywords: "small pouch," "attached to intestine," "no known function."
"Appendix," I said.
The doctor's expression changed. He flipped the chart over; the back was blank. "What about this?"
I looked at the chart, then at my own belly. "That's… bladder? No, too high. Kidney? Also wrong."
I started panicking. The worst thing in diagram questions is mislocating — the text says "on the right side" and you look left.
The doctor said, "That's the stomach."
I shook my head. "Impossible. The stomach is on the left. The text explicitly says—"
"Are you the doctor, or am I?"
I shut up. But my hand was still tracing in the air: A here, B here, C should be—
The doctor sighed and wrote one line on my chart. I leaned over to read it.
He'd written: "Patient repeatedly attempts to label own anatomy during physical. Referral recommended."
I pointed at that line and said, "That should be labeled E."
— The worst side effect of IELTS diagram labeling: walking down the street, you want to grab a pen and label everything A B C D.
No comments yet.