雅思搞笑故事 04：练了两个月写作Task 1，我给我妈画了一张感情饼图
自从练了两个月小作文，我对"数据"产生了执念。
任何事情，我都想画个饼图。任何变化，我都想写"according to the chart"。
我妈打电话来："儿子，你工资涨了多少？"
我没有回答。我在脑子里画饼图。工资分三块：房租占35%，吃饭占25%，雅思培训班占40%。
"According to my personal expenditure chart,"我说，"the largest proportion goes to IELTS training, accounting for 40%, followed by rent at 35%, and food at 25%."
我妈沉默了三秒。"你是不是又走火入魔了？"
我立刻来了灵感。这是一组柱状图。横轴是"妈问我的问题"，纵轴是"频率"。
2026年，"吃饭了吗"占45%，"找对象了吗"占30%，"什么时候回来"占15%，"你还好吗"占10%。
"The bar chart illustrates the frequency of my mother's questions over the past year. It is clear that 'Have you eaten?' dominated, at 45%, followed by 'Are you seeing anyone?' at 30%."
我妈挂了电话。
但我停不下来。我开始分析我室友的情绪。他早上出门，面无表情。这是一个饼图——他的情绪分布：睡眠不足占60%，对工作的厌恶占30%，对我的容忍占10%。
中午他回来，摔了包。我立刻记录变化：情绪饼图发生了显著变化。"The proportion of tolerance decreased from 10% to 0%, while anger surged to 50%."
他瞪着我："你能不能别老画饼了？"
我感动极了。他终于说出了一个可以用趋势图描述的句子。"The line graph shows a steady decline in your patience over time, with a sharp drop after lunch."
他开始收拾东西。"我搬走。"
我快速在草稿纸上画出他搬家的原因饼图：被我逼疯占80%，本来就想搬占15%，其他占5%。
"To summarise,"我对着他的背影说，"the pie chart compares the reasons for your departure. Overall, the most significant factor is my IELTS preparation, which accounts for the largest proportion."
他摔门走了。
我一个人坐在空荡荡的房间里，画了最后一张饼图。我的生活：雅思占80%，社交占10%，吃饭占5%，睡觉占5%。
然后我写了一个overview：Overall, the chart clearly shows that I have no life outside IELTS.
——雅思写作Task 1教会我最重要的一件事：Every chart has a clear overview. Except my life. My life has no overview — just a pie chart that keeps shrinking.
English Version
After two months of grinding Writing Task 1, I developed an obsession with "data."
Everything, I wanted to turn into a pie chart. Any change, I wanted to describe as "according to the chart."
My mom called. "Son, did your salary go up?"
I didn't answer. I was drawing a pie chart in my head. Three slices: rent 35%, food 25%, IELTS courses 40%.
"According to my personal expenditure chart," I said, "the largest proportion goes to IELTS training, accounting for 40%, followed by rent at 35%, and food at 25%."
My mom went silent for three seconds. "Have you lost your mind again?"
I was instantly inspired. This was a bar chart. X-axis: "questions my mom asks me." Y-axis: "frequency."
In 2026, "Have you eaten?" took 45%, "Are you seeing anyone?" 30%, "When are you coming home?" 15%, and "Are you okay?" 10%.
"The bar chart illustrates the frequency of my mother's questions over the past year. It is clear that 'Have you eaten?' dominated, at 45%, followed by 'Are you seeing anyone?' at 30%."
My mom hung up.
But I couldn't stop. I started analysing my roommate's mood. He walked out in the morning with a blank face. This was a pie chart — his emotional distribution: sleep deprivation 60%, work hatred 30%, tolerance of me 10%.
He came back at noon and slammed his bag down. I immediately noted the change: the emotional pie chart had shifted significantly. "The proportion of tolerance decreased from 10% to 0%, while anger surged to 50%."
He stared at me. "Can you stop drawing pies for a second?"
I was touched. He'd finally said something that could be described with a line graph. "The line graph shows a steady decline in your patience over time, with a sharp drop after lunch."
He started packing his bags. "I'm moving out."
I quickly sketched a pie chart of the reasons for his departure on my scratch paper: driven crazy by me 80%, already planning to leave 15%, other 5%.
"To summarise," I said to his back, "the pie chart compares the reasons for your departure. Overall, the most significant factor is my IELTS preparation, which accounts for the largest proportion."
He slammed the door and left.
I sat alone in the empty room and drew one last pie chart. My life: IELTS 80%, social life 10%, eating 5%, sleeping 5%.
Then I wrote an overview: Overall, the chart clearly shows that I have no life outside IELTS.
— The most important thing Writing Task 1 taught me: every chart has a clear overview. Except my life. My life has no overview — just a pie chart that keeps shrinking.
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